Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
