White coat. Heels.
we have officially lost it.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
this will be a night to untag.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
