Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
