I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
