piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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