youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
