Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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