I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
