my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize