haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
