if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
