just come out here and I will go home with you...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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