what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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