her vagine was all disorganized.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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