I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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