dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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