Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He did a backflip because drugs
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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