we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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