going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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