just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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