I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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