I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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