i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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