The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
