Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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