i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
