I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize