is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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