as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
