Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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