Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
