i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
