We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
