I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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