It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
