I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
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no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
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Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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