hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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