I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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