He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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