Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
