so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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