i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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