Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
