My brain says no but my pants say off.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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