I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My vagina is officially offended.
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