Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
