I wannas sexs uuuuu
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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