i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
