someone owes me an orgasm
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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