Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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