Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
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Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
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I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize