He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
