Your dad touched me again.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
