3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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