you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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