now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
