It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
