K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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