Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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