I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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