I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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