Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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