someone get that fucking seahorse.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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