I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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