bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
