hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
