thus making me awesome and them whores
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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