i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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